Who the fuck are you? Who who

A ticket was sent to the kitchen with the name “fucking Steve” on it.

I went back to get the food and one of the cooks asked, “who’s ‘fucking Steve’?”

My reply, “I dunno, probably his wife.”

You little……

Two girls talking…..

“I hate redheaded sluts”

A guy walks by and says, “I have no idea why.”

They were talking about shots

You can’t get there from here

“I don’t want to go there, no one ever goes there. It’s too crowded.”

Obviously discussing going to another bar or club.

Honeymoon in India

Girls at the bar discussing Christmas and gift giving at Office parties.

“I always get fucked on a white elephant.”

The man in the boat

Bartender hands a guy a shot and he pounds it. Afterwards he says, “this tastes like something but I can’t put my finger on it. What is it?”

Bartender, “it’s a g-spot”

What’s the Time? It’s time to get ill

Someone was asking what my bar was like and I said, “This place is like Sodom and Gomorrah. I’ve caught people having sex in the bathrooms, doing drugs….”

A server asked, “What’s Sodom and Gomorrah? Is that before my time?”

What type of bird doesn’t bring babies……… A Swallow

A pregnant woman (not drinking) at the bar was with her friends…….

“I suggest swallowing ALL THE TIME! Pregnancy sucks! Don’t like the taste? Oh well, it’s better than being pregnant.”