You got screwed

Two girls sitting at a table.

Birthday girl, “I’m going to be 28 this Friday and I’ve never had sex on my birthday. Just when I think it will happen, it looks like I’ll be on my period. This sucks.”

Friend, “Well, looks like you are getting fucked on your birthday.”

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Who the fuck are you? Who who

A ticket was sent to the kitchen with the name “fucking Steve” on it.

I went back to get the food and one of the cooks asked, “who’s ‘fucking Steve’?”

My reply, “I dunno, probably his wife.”

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You little……

Two girls talking…..

“I hate redheaded sluts”

A guy walks by and says, “I have no idea why.”

They were talking about shots

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You can’t get there from here

“I don’t want to go there, no one ever goes there. It’s too crowded.”

Obviously discussing going to another bar or club.

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Honeymoon in India

Girls at the bar discussing Christmas and gift giving at Office parties.

“I always get fucked on a white elephant.”

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The man in the boat

Bartender hands a guy a shot and he pounds it. Afterwards he says, “this tastes like something but I can’t put my finger on it. What is it?”

Bartender, “it’s a g-spot”

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What’s the Time? It’s time to get ill

Someone was asking what my bar was like and I said, “This place is like Sodom and Gomorrah. I’ve caught people having sex in the bathrooms, doing drugs….”

A server asked, “What’s Sodom and Gomorrah? Is that before my time?”

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