Customer walks up to the bar, “do you know how to make a ‘masturbating butterfly’?”
“What’s in it?”
“I don’t know.”
I handed him a water and he said, “that’s not it”
“How do you know?”
“There’s no alcohol in it”
“Oh” so I pour some well bourbon in the water, “10 dollars”
“10 dollars?! That’s bullshit”
“You’re the one that asked for a stupid drink and don’t even know what’s in it”
A server came to me asking me to verify an ID at a table. I walk up the the guest, introduce myself and say, “my server asked me to double check your ID.”
She answers with, “I forgot my ID….” And starts reaching for her phone, “but I have a picture of it.” And shows me a picture of her license.
I should’ve said ok and then show her a picture of a drink.
A woman starts to cough and then spits. Then says, in order to justify her spitting, “I have a whole lot of thickness in my throat.”
Two girls sitting at a table.
Birthday girl, “I’m going to be 28 this Friday and I’ve never had sex on my birthday. Just when I think it will happen, it looks like I’ll be on my period. This sucks.”
Friend, “Well, looks like you are getting fucked on your birthday.”
A ticket was sent to the kitchen with the name “fucking Steve” on it.
I went back to get the food and one of the cooks asked, “who’s ‘fucking Steve’?”
My reply, “I dunno, probably his wife.”
Two girls talking…..
“I hate redheaded sluts”
A guy walks by and says, “I have no idea why.”
They were talking about shots
“I don’t want to go there, no one ever goes there. It’s too crowded.”
Obviously discussing going to another bar or club.